While the cat’s away…
I have been a bachelor for the last 6 days and I have had the best time.
My wife took the kids to the in-laws’ house for spring break, leaving me and the dog back home. This was the first time in a while that I’ve been completely unsupervised, so I forgot what it was like to be free…free from the wife, free from the screaming kids, free from anyone asking me where I am going or what I am doing when I get there. I have the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want and there is no one around to stop me or nag me or question my motives. There’s a funny smell? Yeah, I did it, and I don’t even have to blame it on one of the kids or the dog.
Let me fill you in on what I’ve been doing. If you are easily offended by manly hijinks, please don’t read further.
- I watched 5 movies. Downstairs. On the BIG TV! And not a single one of them was rated G or PG. They were all PG-13 and even R!
- I played my 360 DURING THE DAY! Loudly, without headphones. Oh yeah. I’m an animal.
- I went to bed at midnight and slept until 10 in the morning. That’s only 2 hours until the afternoon, baby. And you know what? Nobody woke me up. I actually woke myself up.
- I cleaned up the house. I did it the way I like and I even used the Dyson to clean up a mess that would have made my wife scream. (Oh…I hope she doesn’t read that part.)
- I organized my Disney World Plans three times, just for fun. Take that, Missy. I’m free and I’ll over plan if I want to.
- I skipped church! Well, that was because I had a horrible stomach ache on Sunday, but still..wild.
- I didn’t eat ANYTHING at all on Sunday! Yeah…the stomach thing again.
- I got a fresh clean towel every time I took a shower. And on top of that, I used all of the hot water ALMOST every time. Ok, once. And I was washing clothes at the time.
My wife and kids are coming back home tomorrow, and I’ll have to go back to being a responsible adult again. But hey, I have one more night and I have wicked plans for it: I am going to play Call of Duty 4 and finish off that 6 pack of Sam Adams! (That I bought last week.)
I hope I survive.
Filed under: Just me
But it can’t all be good … There are bad things about being single.
You my friend, are a rebel…..
Yea, Eclipse, but there isn’t much bad about being single for a week.
Wait until the wife sees the chip in the glass, Fagerge egg!
All the rest of it was “yawn”, but the fact that you didn’t eat all day Sunday made me go “WOW!”.
I was trying to absorb the sentence, “I have the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want and there is no one around to stop me or nag me or question my motives,” but I couldn’t catch it, because my sister was standing next to me telling me what to do.